We'll Miss You Always, Skyler

All of us here at home are simply heartbroken. Words just can't express the pain that comes from losing a pet - a small and dear creature that was just as part of our family as any of us. Skyler brought us so much joy and happiness and laughter. His personality alone was enough to win our hearts - the way he went out of his way to be with us, on our heads or shoulders or in our faces giving us "kisses" as only a little bird can. We will miss the way he sang with me when I would sing You Are My Sunshine to him...he would stop when I stopped, sing again when I resumed...the way he would just sit and listen to us when we talked to him, cocking his head left and right as if he were truly trying to understand the words we spoke...the way he would play like a silly bird in his cage filled with handmade toys, strings of buttons and bells...the way he would perch himself on his teddy bear toy every night as he slept...the way he loved to play with ink pens and shiny coins...oh, and so many more precious, little things. We'll miss sharing our popcorn with him, petting his little head when he let us, hearing him "laugh" and say "Skyler Baby Birdy" and "Hey Skyler Skyler" and other sweet feathered words, we'll miss the little reminders that he was out and about - the chewed corners of our magazines, the birdie slobber on the mirrors, and other tiny things birds are known to leave behind now and again. We'll miss the way he'd run through wet paint lids and then leave his tiny painted footprints behind him. We'll miss the way he'd sing with the birds outside when the windows were open and even the way he refused to eat fruits and vegetables - and the way he'd land on the dining table and run from plate to plate trying to steal away with some morsels of our food. We'll miss having such a happy, happy little being around...There is so much, little man, that we'll miss about you.

There was a terrible accident early Sunday morning. Our youngest girl was coming into the sunroom and slammed the door behind her. Skyler was trying to quickly fly in after her and the door caught him. He died instantly. My little girl (6) was beside herself...she scooped him up and brought him to Hubs - she was crying and shaking uncontrollably and our hearts broke both for her and for our Skyler. Like the the rest of us, she is a true animal lover (we don't even kill spiders in our home). Our 12 year old - who was mostly responsible for the care and keeping of Skyler (they roomed together and were very close) wasn't even home. She had stayed the night with a friend the night before but was sure to "tuck him in" before she left, covering his cage with a sheet and leaving classical music on for him just as he liked. Hubs had to go and pick her up early without explaining to her over the phone why - and then in person he told her what had happened and that she needed to be home so that we could bury him together.

It was oh so hard. We found a pretty decorative box with a hinged lid and blue ribbon, and soft white tissue paper to line it with, and tucked him gently inside. We buried him in our front landscaping bed and later when the girls are feeling up to it, we'll find some special flowers to plant over his little burial spot. My 12 year old wants to make a word stone with his name on it, but she wasn't up to it today. Of the three girls, she's taking this the hardest. Everything is a reminder. We love birds and tend to "collect" them through our decorative accessories and even on the clothes we wear (from dresses to ties). Even hearing the outside birds sing hurts, but I know that won't last forever.

Yesterday, to help get our minds over what had happened, we left the house and fed ourselves comfort food at a favorite restaurant, went to a park, rode our bikes together, stretched a blanket out by a stream and read, splashed in a creek, and then hung out at a bookstore for quite a while. No one wanted to come home. No one wanted to see the reminders. In our haste to leave the house, we forgot to put the cage away, so it greeted us first thing as we walked in the door. Our first instinct was to want to say hello and chit chat/babytalk with Skyler, and our hearts were once again heavy when it hit us that he was gone. Today, we've tried to keep it light here at home, working on art projects, listening to music, and smiling, laughing, and playing as the mood hits us. Last week, the girls made clay sculptures that we baked until hard. They didn't have time to paint their sculptures then, so they did today...my middle child had made a "Skyler sculpture" and it was the first one she painted to be given as a gift to my oldest daughter.

I hope this doesn't come across as overly dramatic, but this really is our first family tragedy that has hit our children so close to home. They've lost great-grandparents, but they didn't really know them and while they were sad, they weren't distraught like this. Except for a hampster we had briefly when the youngest were babies, they've never lost a pet in death.

So I've reminded them that they won't always hurt so much and that with each passing day, it will get a tiny bit easier. Soon, we won't first remember the tragedy itself but instead will remember the pure joy that this little fellow brought into our lives. I've had plenty of crying bouts myself and I've let them see how much I hurt, while at the same time trying to hold back the tears at times when I feel they need to see me strong. I reminded them of this verse and hope that it somehow brings them as much comfort as it brings to me right now...

Do not two sparrows sell for a coin of small value? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s knowledge. ~Matthew 10:29



Thank you all *so much* for the kind words and well wishes below concerning my wisdom teeth. The surgery was an utter success and my pain has been minimal. I haven't even needed a prescription for pain - just ibuprofen now and again. The day after my surgery, Saturday, I rested for a little while at home and then spent the rest of the day to myself outside the house, visiting thrift and bookstores, reading and walking in the park. Thank you again, everyone:)